I need to start being more consistent.
Yes yes yes.
Need to be more on the ball with things.
I'm starting to wonder how the hell I managed to hold down a job, play in a band, be someone's girlfriend, work out AND compete in fitness competitions... and still write in a blog.
Technically I should be able to manage this now. I've got no band (a sad, sad, fact), no gym time (also sad) - which means no competitions since I'm some underweight 40-kilo weakling that wouldn't stand a chance against kindergarten kids (pathetic!), don't spend much time with the love of my life (even though we actually SEE each other every day at work... but SEE is all we do most times. That, and pass by each other since we're both working on different things), hardly see the family (thanks to my transient entries and exits at odd hours) or my friends (who constantly tell me to chill out and stop working so much)....
So what's taking my time?
Work.
Well to be fair to myself (heh heh cos NO ONE ELSE would do that, innit?) I've got more than one job. On and off the screen. And then there's the emcee jobs. And the side job for another channel on our network.
When one is approaching the dreaded 3-0, ensuring financial security seems to be a lot more relevant. Happy go lucky is one thing - but damn we're making crap money in the TeeVee world I tell ya. So we supplement income in other ways so we can do things that adults do. Like buy a car, a house, go shopping without fear, treat ourselves to nice dinners and holidays, give our loved ones well-deserved treats and such.
I'd really like the financial independance, freedom to live without worrying about how I'm going to maintain or improve my lifestyle somewhere down the line.
But it can be a damper to bust your ass for half price after a while. That, my friends, is the secret of the trade known as "inhouse talent value". Ironic isn't it, that sometimes the people who are closest to you, undermine and undervalue you -- and yet strangers seem to find you more capable, talented and worthy of better renumeration.
It's not an easy mindset to work with; but then again I believe that if you work honestly, ethically and with passion, creativity and a good heart -- good things will happen.
But then again - most of the good people seem to be happy AND poor.
I just want to get the material side of my life sorted. Then I can sit back and start working out the more important things in life. Cos I can't even hack it on my own totally if it weren't for the outside jobs. Sad but true.
But I should try to blog more. There are bigger issues than not making enough money to live my current lo-fi lifestyle AND try to finally buy a damn house so you can finally move out (and marriage is the only other option to escape... which will REALLY take more time because they cost just as much as some houses man)
Ah. I'm starting to get nervous about turning 30 next year. I got to be sorted by then. Or my parents will start increasing the "bebel" factor.
11:57 PM
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